A manipulation is an insidious tool that toxic people, such as narcissists and psychopaths, use to control and dominate others. However, identifying and understanding this process can be difficult. Manipulators are masters at hiding their true intentions and using subtle tactics to get what they want.
Once manipulators realize that their tactics are effective, they internalize and rely on them without conscious thought, much like how driving a car becomes second nature with practice.
In this article, we will explore the seven steps manipulators use to control and dominate others. By understanding this process, you will be better equipped to spot manipulation and stand up for yourself.
1-Manipulators are switching you on
The first step manipulators use is switching you on. They identify what is important to you and use it to their advantage. For example, if your body is important to you, they will praise your appearance or fitness level. They will use different methods to recruit you and figure out what makes your heart sing.
2-Manipulators are splitting your mind
Once the manipulator has identified your values, they will begin to split your mind. They do this by bringing your values outside of your mind, making them more accessible for manipulation. This is often the start of the abuse. You may not even realize it is happening as we all seek appraisal, validation, and acceptance. However, once they split your mind, the manipulator can begin to take control.
3 Manipulators criticize you
Manipulators will then start to criticize you, no matter what you do. They will focus on your values and make you feel like you are not good enough. This is where you start to feel helpless and hopeless, seeking ways to find your way around it. The manipulator knows that you seek praise, and they use this against you to control and dominate.
4 Manipulators use metaphors
Once the manipulator has split your mind and criticized you, they will begin to use metaphors. These metaphors are meant to make you feel small and helpless, like a child. They use your traumatic past experiences and learned behaviors to manipulate and control you.
5 Manipulators confuse you
When manipulators want to control you completely, they start to confuse and mix things up. For example, they may test your adjustability by praising you one moment and then criticizing you the next. By lowering your self-esteem, they can make you feel vulnerable and more susceptible to their manipulations. Manipulators will often play with your emotions and test you to see how much control they have over you.
If you start to surrender to their manipulations and become submissive, then they have succeeded in their manipulative tactics.
6 Manipulators make the time
Manipulators can also manipulate time to their advantage. For example, they may suggest that you used to be better than you are now, making you feel slow and inadequate. By mixing metaphors and time, manipulators can create a sense of urgency and control over you. If you notice these manipulations, you can eliminate manipulators and narcissists from your life and surround yourself with positive, nurturing people who will help you grow and thrive.
7 Manipulators recruit you
Manipulators will often recruit you by giving you suggestions and making you believe that you are not good enough or smart enough. By lowering your self-esteem, they can make it easier for you to take their suggestions and become more vulnerable to their manipulations. The recruitment process is how manipulators dominate and control you. If you recognize the manipulation and detach yourself from the toxic person, you can create space and begin the healing process.
It's important to note that everyone can be toxic at times, but by recognizing and understanding toxic behaviors, you can avoid them and cultivate healthy relationships.
It’s important to recognize the difference between healthy communication and manipulative behavior. Dominating a conversation doesn’t have to be disrespectful or abusive. It’s possible to dominate in a respectful and positive way, like a teacher guiding a student. By standing up for yourself and being confident, you can avoid falling prey to manipulative tactics.
In conclusion, manipulators are masters at hiding their true intentions and using subtle tactics to control and dominate others. However, by understanding the seven steps they use, you can better spot manipulation and stand up for yourself. Remember that you are in control of your life, and you do not have to let manipulators take that away from you.
If you feel trapped in the manipulation or unable to gain back your confidence and self-esteem, learn how RTT Hypnotherapy can help you, book your Free Consultation Call today: https://katesemeniuk.com/book-a-call/