Did you know that manipulators and narcissists employ covert strategies, often unbeknownst even to themselves, to diminish your self-esteem and assert control over you?
Their relentless pursuit of power never seems to satisfy them. In this blog post, we will explore the concealed signs exhibited by manipulators and narcissists, shedding light on these patterns that can go unnoticed. By recognizing these hidden signs, you can fortify your self-esteem and take proactive steps to protect yourself from their detrimental influence. Let’s unravel the secrets behind their manipulation tactics and empower ourselves to reclaim our worth.
1 Hidden signs of manipulators and narcissists
Even though manipulators may not be aware of the specific names for their tactics, they intuitively understand their effectiveness and employ them to great effect over the long term. Unfortunately, when we find ourselves entangled with manipulators or narcissists, we often fail to recognize or identify these signs.
Even when a red flag appears, we might hold onto hope and believe we can change the person. In this section, we will discuss these hidden signs, as recognizing them empowers us to break free from toxic relationships or, at the very least, become aware of their presence. Increased awareness allows us to notice and become increasingly frustrated by these signs, enabling us to take necessary action.
1.1 They take over time, make you wait
The first hidden sign of a narcissist is their intention to make you wait. They steal your time, elevating their own importance. Similar to standing in line at a grocery store, waiting for their approval becomes a means for them to enhance their own sense of significance.
It's like they're making you wait in line for their approval because that's how they raise their own importance
1.2 With different techniques they show you that you are not the only one and you not the best
Using various techniques and strategies, manipulators make you believe that you are not the only one in their life. They establish the notion that there will always be alternatives or backup plans.
This creates a sense of urgency and exclusivity, tapping into our natural inclination to desire what is perceived as hard to attain. Recognizing this tactic is essential for understanding their manipulative behavior.
1.3 They want your full attention
Manipulators crave your undivided focus, diverting your attention from your own desires, passions, and hobbies. By monopolizing your energy, they gain greater control over you. When a narcissist enters your environment, whether it be a personal or professional setting, and demands complete attention, it serves as a red flag that warrants attention and vigilance.
1.4 They love to disappear from your life
Narcissists often employ disappearing acts, using both their words and absence to keep you guessing. This behavior leaves you waiting and yearning for their presence or a response, whether you’re dating them or interacting in a work environment. Similarly, failing to respond promptly to important inquiries demonstrates a lack of responsibility, and it is a behavior that we should all strive to overcome.
1.5 First they will give you a taste of your own boundaries and then slice pieces of those boundaries away
Manipulators and narcissists employ a cunning strategy where they initially provide you with a full taste of your own boundaries. This creates a sense of security and makes you believe that you have control over your personal space.
However, over time, they methodically dismantle these boundaries, piece by piece. By luring you into a false sense of comfort, they exploit your lowered guard, leaving you vulnerable and allowing them to exert control. If you notice this pattern of boundary erosion after being initially granted freedom, be cautious as it is a significant red flag that can undermine your self-worth and freedom.
1.6 They blame others for their problems and do not take responsibility for their actions
Manipulators and narcissists often deflect blame onto others and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. This behavior is not exclusive to them but is commonly observed in their relationships.
Pay close attention to how they speak about and treat others, as it reflects their true mindset. If they frequently criticize, judge, or blame others, it is highly likely they will treat you in the same manner. Consistent language patterns of blaming and judging should alert you of their manipulative tendencies.
When you find that language patterns you can start to identify them and you can work with them or you can eliminate those people from your life
1.7 They admire others to bring you down
Manipulators and narcissists often employ a toxic strategy of admiring others to bring you down. You may notice an increase in their energy when they successfully praise someone in front of you.
However, they quickly attempt to smooth the situation by following their criticisms with words of care and love. They may claim to want the best for you and insist that you are better than the person they just criticized.
Beware of such behavior in narcissistic relationships, whether they occur at work or in personal settings. Stay vigilant and protect yourself by awakening your inner guard.
1.8 They always have their “yes, however”, “I agree, but…”
Another hidden sign of manipulators and narcissists lies in their consistent use of “yes, however” or “I agree, but” statements. Whenever you share an idea, make a request, or engage in negotiations, they respond with a seemingly agreeable “yes.”
However, they quickly follow it with a contradictory “however” or “but,” creating an emotional roller coaster. By oscillating between agreement and disagreement, they manipulate your perceptions and undermine your confidence. Their constant use of “yes, but” demonstrates their desire to maintain control over the situation and take advantage of your vulnerability.
2 Dealing with manipulation. How to protect your self-worth
2.1 Start to name everything with it’s real words
It’s essential to name things as they are. If someone exhibits narcissistic behavior, acknowledge them as a narcissist. If they manipulate, recognize them as manipulators. We cannot determine if they will stop being narcissists or manipulators; that decision lies within them.
Reflecting on my own experiences, I’ve realized that even I engaged in manipulative behavior when I played the victim. It’s crucial to become aware of these patterns and understand that we all possess the capacity for manipulation. However, it’s not our responsibility to change their decisions or behavior.
2.2 Drop the hopes to save them
Let go of any hope that you can save manipulators or narcissists. Do not convince yourself that waiting a little longer will lead to change. Although our hearts are naturally hopeful, once someone starts manipulating you, the situation won’t improve. It’s either going to worsen or you need to stand up for yourself. Remember, change can only happen within yourself, not to change them.
2.3 Seek support
When you find yourself in a relationship with a manipulator or narcissist, seek support and gather knowledge. Lack of awareness is what exerts the greatest control over us. Reach out to resources and individuals who can provide guidance and assistance.
2.4 Practice awareness, mindfulness and open your mind to new information
Practice awareness by observing people’s language patterns, behaviors, and actions. This requires self-observation as well, understanding how you react and behave. Cultivate mindfulness and allocate quiet time for self-reflection. These practices will enhance your confidence and self-worth.
2.5 Believe in the power of your mind
Never underestimate the potential of your mind. Reject thoughts that it’s too late or that suffering is your fate. “Never lose hope for yourself.” The victim mentality perpetuates a cycle of degradation.
If you are seeking change and you are reading this, it means you desire transformation. Believe in yourself, utilize these strategies, and observe the people around you. Recognize who deserves to be in your life and who is not worthy of your time and energy.
You deserve to surround yourself with genuine connections and live a life rooted in authenticity. Take charge of your happiness and create a brighter, more fulfilling future. Start by scheduling a consultation today and unlock the door to a life free from manipulation and full of genuine self-expression.
To book your Free Consultation Call and embark on this transformative journey, visit https://katesemeniuk.com/book-a-call/. It’s time to prioritize your well-being and build the future you deserve.